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How do you deal with the anxiety of leaving the mother in young children?

How do you deal with the anxiety of leaving the mother in young children?


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Particularly after the age of 1 year, children are anxious to leave a busy parent. Not only does the mother leave the child for daily tasks such as going to work or going shopping, but even entering the toilet becomes a problem. The child cries strongly and reacts to the disappearance of the mother. In fact, this protest of the child should be considered as a healthy method used to cope with separation. From 13 to 14 months of age, children's sense of desire and need to manifest themselves increases. He also begins to perceive that, for the first time, he continues to exist elsewhere when he is not with his loved ones. A child who has reached this level of development naturally wishes to be with his mother.

- Is that normal? Or should I get serious help?

Particularly in the second year of life, we should consider the anxiety of separation from the parent as normal and consider it a stage of healthy development. However, knowing that this is normal does not mean that it should not be taken seriously. The child experiences real distress and intense emotional strain during separation. In order to cope with this difficulty and survive in a healthy way, the parent must take the right steps.

- How should we treat them?

The first step in helping the child cope with separation is to prepare the child in advance. For example, when you go out for a day's work and leave your child with someone else, tell your child: 'I'll go soon. I'il be home before your noon sleep. When I get back, I'll show you what I got. ' From this point on, the parent should be prepared for the child to cry during separation. In the meantime, the parent must promise to return and leave the stage without going too far. Remind your child that you have kept your promise on the turn. This is the basis behind which he trusts you in the future. In addition, the attitude of the person who stays with the child after the parent is gone is important: to hug the child lovingly, try to calm him down, talk about his mother's return, and step by step to a pleasant activity.

- How can such children be treated?

The biggest mistake made during daily breaks is to try to leave without realizing the child. In this case, the mother does not encounter the child's protest, but more serious drawbacks arise for the child. When the mother goes unnoticed, the child finally realizes that her mother has disappeared, which in turn causes more harm than usual because the mother's departure is beyond the child's control. It is not clear when the mother will go and when she will return. Therefore, it is difficult to tolerate even the slightest differences such as entering the toilet after the mother returns home. If you have been going to your child unnoticed for some time, your child's anxiety to leave may well be triggered. You must be patient to resolve this situation. From this point on, let your child know each time you leave, let your child see your departure, and if possible, start with short breaks and increase the break-up time step by step. When you return, remind your child that you have returned as promised and take time for activities that involve close contact, such as hugging.

- How can children be saved from such an obsession?

Over time, children's anxiety about leaving parents disappears. In the process, it is useful to give your child the message 'mother and father always return'. Play ce-eee games with your child by hiding a favorite toy under the blanket, then opening it, or play hide-and-seek by hiding behind the couch or curtain in the room. These separation-merger games help your child develop the perception that you will return even if you go. It is also effective to gradually increase the separation time. Don't do things like start working at once after having been with your baby for months, or sending your child to a full-time kindergarten. It is best to gradually increase the separation time.

- Does it affect their character when they grow up?

Some research and observations show that children's response to separation from parents is related to their character. The severity of the child's reaction to the mother's departure may be indicative of her personality determination and self-confidence. If the child grieves by mourning himself instead of an audible protest in the event of a parent's separation, this may suggest a lack of confidence and depressive tendency in relation to the child's character. However, if the parent manages the early separation anxiety correctly, it will have no lasting negative impact on the character development of the child.

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